Three guys walk into a bar, one forgets to duck.

Two illegal immigrants had just crossed the border, they were now wandering the desert for food. They come upon a tree that has bacon growing from its branches. Pedro says to Julio, "Do you think its a trap?" Julio replies,"Go check." Pedro runs out to the tree, immediately a machine gun opens up and mows him down. In Pedro's last dying words he says, "This my friend is no bacon tree, its a hambush!"

Mommy! Mommy! I don't think this is how we make gingerbread men!
Shut up kid and get back in the oven!